Things I can and can’t do

Things that I CAN’T do because I am deaf:

• Listen to music which is a bit weird cos I LOVE musical films! Give me Sound of Music or Dirty Dancing or Grease any day!
• Listen to the radio, would be nice to have something to do while driving!
• Hear how loud my voice is – it might be far too loud and distracting and inappropriate or far too quiet cos there is noises that I am not aware of – I actually hate being told I am either too loud or too quiet – urgh! Can’t win! This is something that is now even more of a problem for me now I can’t wear my hearing aids.
• Go to the cinema unless there is a RARE subtitled screening – they are usually for films I don’t want to watch or at some weird time which totally isn’t suitable for me such as 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon when I am at work!
• Hear people laughing especially my boys.
• Have a ‘normal’ telephone conversation. This has been the one thing that I really wish I could do! However technology has come a long way recently such as Facetime etc.
• Have a conversation in the dark – I wonder why!
• Hear the cooker timer/microwave beeping – I have to be good at clock watching!
• Hear the doorbell and thus miss the postman trying to deliver a parcel which is SO annoying cos then I have to wait til the next day AND drive 10 miles to the depot to get it.
• Watch anything on TV unless it has subtitles – the most annoying things about subtitles is when you have watched 1 hour and 45 minutes of a 2 hour film happily with subtitles and then they freeze or disappear and you have no idea what the remainder of the story is all about. Imagine having to watch the last 15 minutes with no sound at all.
• Hear the sirens of emergency vehicles – this is why I am constantly on the watch out – or some people would call it being nosy – not just watching out for sirens but for anything!
• Hear people saying “Excuse me” louder and louder in the supermarket and then barging past me with their trolley. Usually quickly followed by an angry stare in my direction. Depending on my mood and how angry the stare is I may chase them and then say to them “I am deaf and didn’t hear you!” which usually wipes their face pretty quick!
• I can’t leave the front window when waiting for a tradesman who is going to be there “between 1 and 5pm” so that I don’t miss him. I go without food and drink just in case they decide to come that very second! Even when I am bursting to go to the loo I wait and wait – sometimes I absolutely cannot wait anymore and have to rush to the loo and when I rush back I then spend the rest of the time (which can be hours) wondering if I missed him when I was on the loo! This may sound funny but it’s actually highly stressful.
• Can’t hear my dodgy car alarm – it’s not until I get weird looks at me as I’m driving along with the car alarm blaring that I start to realise it’s gone off yet again! Cue a red face and some quick fumbling to turn it off! On the plus side – it’s not me that wakes up in the night when it’s gone off again!
• Follow conversations easily especially in groups of people – the more there are the worse it is. Never mind being in a questions and answers session in a meeting/training session!
• Go to a theatre show however there is a thing called StageText which is like captions on a screen that you can read to follow the dialogue – will have to try that some day but there is none of that near me – will have to be a day trip to London for that some day.
• Hear if anyone wakes in the night and may need me – nightmares, being poorly or sleepwalking. This is less of a problem now the boys are older and know to come and wake me up if needed. Or even, possible intruders that I need to defend myself against! Hope that is never an issue!
• Hear what a tannoy might be saying in a supermarket. What if they are telling me that they have found something I might not have realised I dropped?
• Hear when I have left the extractor fan on – usually the kids or hubby will come home and tell me that it’s on and it’s been on for hours! Or even if a pan is boiling over on the hob.
• Hear if the car has locked (or unlocked) unless I am holding the car or looking at the lights to see if I’ve done it – as sometimes I am not sure if it locked so I end up pressing the button again and then realising it was locked but I’ve now unlocked it again and then have to lock it again! No I don’t have OCD!

 Things I CAN do because I am deaf:

• Able to lipread people who
  • are a long way away such as on the other side of the restaurant! This is great fun!
  • are on the other side of glass such as outside or on the train whilst you are on the platform!
  • In a noisy environment such as a disco provided it’s not too dark! But then people can’t hear my answers!
  • Lipread the naughty words that are bleeped out on the telly!
  • ‘Switch off’ when it’s all getting a bit hectic/noisy around me by just simply closing my eyes!
  • I think that I am pretty good at reading body language and this helps me greatly in my communication and empathy.
  • I can sleep through anything – thunderstorms, crying babies, car alarms going off but on the flip side I would also sleep through potential dangers such as intruders, fire alarms, boys being ill or having nightmares.